Let Love In

This is one of my new years resolutions. I’m not really all that big on new years resolutions, because I feel that if you put your mind to it you can begin a resolution whenever you want. But while I was sitting at my aunt’s house with the rest of my extended family, I couldn’t help but think about the possibility of having a girl next to me. Someone to share a new year’s kiss with, someone to talk to about all the funny stories our family has been a part of, someone to hold that night, to eat breakfast with the next morning, and to sit next to on the car ride home. I wouldn’t mind the cramped back seat, with our shoulders rubbing because of how squished we were in our tiny Subaru. I would love every second of it.

I went to a party last night. Just over at a friend’s place, nothing special. Literally, NOTHING special. I realized once I got there just how often our group of friends did the same thing every weekend. I felt like I was getting into a rut. I left an hour later. And as the cold wind blew on my face as I walked home, I couldn’t help of thinking back to the new years party, wishing I had someone to walk besides, someones hand to hold as we crossed the street. Someone to whisper to as we got in bed and tried not to wake my already sleeping roommate. Just someone.

I’ve been in a handful of relationships during my life, two really major ones, one which lasted the last year and a half of high school, and the other which stretched through the first two years of college. I learned a lot from these experiences, a lot more than I would have imagined. I always feel like we take away something very important from the relationships we are in, even if they end terribly or only last a few weeks. I didn’t treat these two girls nearly as well as I should/could have, and I realize that after the fact. I was younger, less mature, and just not 100% in the relationship.

But now I’m ready. I’m ready for miss right to show her face. I want her to be beautiful and smart and talkative. I want her to get shy when she gets nervous, I want her to laugh when we make mistakes together. And I want that cute booty, I want it to tease me constantly. I know she’s out there, it’s only a matter of time. But don’t you think she could be a little considerate and show her face soon. I’m starting to worry she’s not out there…